Girlfriends

I came across this video with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin (the picture, obviously, is not of them because of copyright issues), who have been friends for decades. Besides the comic element they both bring to the discussion, they make some very good points about the importance of women having a strong network of female friends. I can attest to that. My women friends are very important to me. We raise each other up, we don't compete or compare, we support, we give and take advice, we share experiences, fears, triumphs, tears, laughter and all on a different level than we would with our significant others. That doesn't mean we have lousy relationships with our partners. Actually, our girlfriend relationships are complementary to the ones we have at home.

Here are some interesting tidbits on the importance of maintaining your female friendships:

• the need for community is part of our female DNA - we're more social, more community-focused, more collaborative and less competitive
• women with strong female support live longer - men who are married tend to live longer than their single counterparts. However, there is no difference in longevity between married and single women. The difference for women lies in whether they are connected to other women. Having female friendships extends out lives.
• our stress is reduced when we have time with our girlfriends - when we have 'girl time', our bodies produce oxytocin, the feel-good hormone, which will reduce the stress level.
• these phenomena are also present in the animal kingdom. When some male animals are stressed, they will run to the females in their species but when the females are stressed, they will run to other females for comfort.
• self-esteem increases - when we spend time with our girlfriends, we feel better about ourselves.
• health - when we don't have female companionship, we are at higher risk for health problems.

The sad fact though, is that friendships are waning. We have gotten so wrapped up in our own stuff that we are not making time for important relationships. Without these relationships, we lose out on the opportunities to support and be supported, to empathize, to be part of a community or just get a hg when we need it.

Say what you will about social media, but I have reconnected with more than a few girlfriends from the old days. I appreciate those friendships so much more now than I did when I was young. We have all lived very different lives but there are a lot of similarities we share. We connect on a much deeper level than we did as kids. Most of us have had significant life changing events that make us appreciate the people in our lives so much more.

The bottom line is, having the support of your female friends does not diminish your family relationships and may actually serve to enhance them. Your girlfriends provide an outlet to vent your frustrations, share your joys, fears, sorrows and can help you gain perspective in a situation where you may have lost yours. So nurture those friendships...you might live longer. At least you'll be happier in the time you're here.       

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

What Are Your Limiting Beliefs?

I have seen this video many times and it never fails to choke me up. I love this man's story of strength, perseverance and ultimate victory. I think it speaks to the resilience of the human spirit when a person has someone else's belief in them and also believes in themselves enough to use the energy from that belief to accomplish what they previously thought was impossible. 

What would you do if you knew success was the only outcome? To what heights would you soar? What chances would you take? If you knew you could not fail, how far would you stretch the limits?

Do you know that the only thing that gets in your way is you? We all have limiting beliefs. We aren't smart enough, don't know enough, don't have the right credentials, aren't pretty enough, are too young/old, too fat/thin, and scads of other beliefs I haven't even identified. We often stay in dead end jobs that are mind numbing and dream killing because of our fear of lack. We think the only way we can pay our bills is to go to that same job day after day to earn a paycheck.

I was one of those people who stayed in a job for a very long time when what I really wanted to do was start my own business. I started my business before I retired and now am playing catch up to move it where I want it to be.

I also had those same beliefs that I mentioned above but they don't serve me so I am writing a different narrative for my life. I am here to serve others through my coaching and leadership. I am fully qualified to do what I am called to do. I can make plenty of money coaching and spreading my message. I have more than enough knowledge and experience to help women regain their health. My age and weight have no bearing on my ability to help others.

What are the limiting beliefs that hold you back from being your best self? How are you going to rewrite the narrative of your life to reach you full potential and realize your wildest dreams?

Write down your limiting beliefs and change each one to a statement that will serve you. Read the new beliefs out loud to yourself over and over and let them really sink in. Your subconscious hears what you say to yourself and absorbs it. It doesn't know truth from lie so why not give it some good feedback instead of tearing yourself down? You will start to believe the good stuff and will begin acting in a way that will make you achieve what you want. Try it...you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

I Hope You Dance

I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'

Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'

Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)

I hope you dance

I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance (Where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)

I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder?)

Songwriters: Tia Sillers / Mark Sanders

I love this song and always tear up when I hear it. I wish someone had encouraged me to be and do whatever my heart led me to do when I was growing up. But sometimes growing up means just surviving from one day to the next. And so I did. I have had to learn as a late stage adult that I really can be and do what I want when I grow up.

Follow your dreams and do what makes your heart sing. If I had known then what I know now, my life would have taken a much different path but of course I might not be where I am now if I did things differently...or maybe I would have arrived a lot sooner.

There are things about my life I wouldn't change. My family, both nuclear and extended, is filled with an eclectic array of personalities and talents and I love each and every one of them.

I wish as a child, I would have been encouraged to participate in sports or other fitness activities but in those days, girls were not necessarily pushed in that direction or given many opportunities. Thank you Title IX.

If, as a young person, I had some insight into what makes me happy now I may have taken a different educational path. That's not to say that I didn't have a very successful career for thirty years but it never really inspired me like health and nutrition coaching does. My thirty year career made it possible for me to retire early and do what I like . But if I had been doing what I like all along, I never would have needed to retire, because what I do I don't consider work.

Life is a journey. If you find something that you really love to do, make your own path. Don't wait for someone to tell you it's okay because that permission may never come. Don't be what someone else tells you to be. You're the one who has to live with that decision so make it yours. And when given the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

It's a Dog Day

Some of my favorite "people" have had four legs. We were away for five days and haven't yet picked up our dog Monet from the kennel today, so I was thinking how much I miss her. Even though she's ten or eleven years old, she still brings a childlike joy to our home. 

We recently lost her lifelong companion Chili to kidney failure and we see how the loss has affected Monet. She isn't as vocal as she was before. She hides behind furniture when there is loud noise in the house, like when we were having work done in the kitchen. I think she took her behavior cues from Chili so she barked when Chili told her it was appropriate to do so. She would wait outside the back door when we put them out until Chili ran ahead and she would follow. Now she goes out, takes care of business and then comes to sit by the door to wait to be let in. Chili was the one who told us it was time to let them in by being the one to bark at the door. Now we have to remember that Monet is outside, which we sometimes don't realize for an hour or so.

Besides bringing the aforementioned joy to a home, dogs and other pets do a lot more for you. They give you unconditional love, and who couldn't use a lot more of that? In a world that can sometimes be a little cruel and uncaring, coming home to the happy reception you receive from the pet that loves you can be soul shifting and uplifting. 

You are less likely to be lonely. Having pets can bring opportunities for social interactions with other pet people or just people you meet on your walks. For introverts, being around people can be exhausting after a while. Coming home to a pet can be re-energizing. The pet has no expectations of you and is always happy to see you.  

There are also many physical health benefits to living with a pet. Pet people often get more exercise, especially dog people. Walking or playing with the dog helps both of you. You will bond with the pet more fully which is emotionally satisfying but you will also enjoy the obvious fitness boost that walking and running around will bring. Other benefits are a decrease in blood pressure, triglycerides,  and total cholesterol. 

I've had dogs off and on since I was a kid. They can be annoying when all they want to do is be near you, as my Chili did. But now that she's gone, I miss her company. She was a sweet and loving dog. We still have Monet, who also is a sweet and loving dog but each dog brings something different to the home. I have never been a cat person. That doesn't mean I don't like cats, I just prefer dogs so my frame of reference is that of one who has been owned by dogs. 

Whether you are a dog person, cat person or other type of pet person, living with a pet can give you a more fulfilling life and a deeper connection to another living being that you might not otherwise have. Don't underestimate the power of that connection.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

Gratitude Is The Attitude

Have you ever heard of a gratitude journal? It's a place where you record what you are grateful for in your life. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic. I add five things to my journal every night that I'm grateful for from that particular day. It helps me to go to sleep in a good mood which allows my subconscious to set me up for a good start to the next day. 

Don't think you have anything to be grateful for? 

Did you wake up in a nice warm bed after a good night's sleep? Do you live in a safe place with plenty of clean water to drink and healthy food to eat? Are you healthy and able to move your body the way you want to? Do you have a good job that gives you financial security? Do you have family and friends whom love you and who love you?  You have plenty to be grateful for.

Gratitude is one of the most researched emotions and there is plenty of evidence proving its power.

• Being grateful can make you happier. If you look for what's good in your life instead of what's going wrong, you will develop more positive feelings about your life and yourself. 
• Being grateful can help to reduce symptoms of depression. Depression generally makes the depressed person focused mostly on self but being grateful forces the person to look outward to who or what they are thankful for, taking the focus off of self.
• Being grateful can increase your resilience. When you look at the good things in your life, you can see past the immediate problem to the bigger picture and bounce back more quickly.
• Being grateful can improve your self esteem. When you feel grateful for what others do for you, you feel loved and appreciated which makes you feel better about yourself.

More surprisingly, gratitude can improve your physical health too.

• Being grateful can improve your sleep by activating your relaxation response. Alternatively, negative emotions will activate the fight or flight response so it makes sense that sleep comes more easily to the grateful heart.
• Being grateful helps to lower stress. Practicing gratitude can help to reduce cortisol production, a stress hormone, and to increase production of DHEA, which promotes physiological relaxation. 
• Being grateful may make you exercise more often. If you are grateful for the healthy body you have, you are more likely to want to take care of it.
• Being grateful helps to reduce pain. Positive emotions have an analgesic effect by triggering the release of naturally occurring endogenous opioids. Grateful people are less sensitive to pain and have a higher threshold for it.
• Being grateful can help to lower blood pressure. Negative emotions will cause blood vessels to constrict, thereby raising blood pressure.
• Being grateful can boost the immune system. Practicing gratitude has been known to stimulate the increase of immunoglobulin A,  which is the first line of defense in fighting off viral infections.     
• Being grateful helps you to live longer. Optimistic, positive people are generally known to have longer life spans.   

There are many other reasons to be grateful. It will never hurt and it may improve your life in ways you never would have expected.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

   

It's Always Better At the Beach

Looking at this picture, you can almost hear the water lapping at the shoreline. It's a warm summer evening and a feeling of calm washes over you as you listen to the rhythmic sound of the waves. 

When I was going through chemo in February 2010 my sister took me to Hawaii. I had no hair and, because I live in New Jersey, was always very cold. It was life affirming to sit on the beach on the north shore of Oahu and watch the huge waves crash against the sand. The color of the water was the bluest I have ever seen. It was a mesmerizing, meditative experience. For a few hours each day, I was able to escape my reality and feel the stress of my situation melt away. 

There are so many reasons a visit to the beach is good for you. Walking in sand is not only much more pleasant than walking on pavement but also requires more effort and provides a better workout. it's also so much better for your feet, hips and other joints. 

Being at the beach usually means being in the sun. Being in the sun means you absorb a lot of Vitamin D. We are often deficient in Vitamin D, especially in winter when we are covered up and unable to absorb it. Vitamin D strengthens bones, supports the immune system, minimizing stress, lowering blood pressure and reducing cancer risk. Just remember not to spend too much time in the sun between the hours of 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM.

Our bodies are made up of more than 75% salt water so it's no wonder we feel so much better at the beach, near the ocean. The ocean water is full of minerals like magnesium, calcium and potassium that are absorbed into the skin. These minerals help to overcome certain skin conditions and detoxify the skin.

Even the blue color of the ocean and the sky is very soothing and calming. Staring at the ocean will actually change your brainwaves and put you into a meditative, almost trancelike state. The negative ions in the salt air help to alleviate depression and mood disorders and help with oxygen absorption. This is why you often sleep very well after spending the day at the beach.

There are so many other benefits from spending time by the water. It's the place on earth where we are closest to our own physiology. It helps us physically, mentally, emotionally. So pack your beach bag and floppy hat and have a blast.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

   

Walk With Me

One of the easiest ways to be healthy and fit is to put on your walking shoes, get outside and walk. According to a study published by the University of Warwick, people who walked at least 15,000 steps per day were more likely to be in the healthy range for body mass index (BMI). People who walk more and sit less tend to have lower blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels. Walkers tend to have lower blood glucose levels which helps to minimize the danger of developing diabetes.

In a clinical trial of older adults in Japan found that after 12 weeks of daily walking had significantly greater improvement in memory and executive function compared to the control group that just went about their usual routine. Another study of a group of adults published in the Journal of Neurology determined that walking is associated with a larger amount of gray matter in the brain, which is a measure of brain health.

Exercising aerobically can improve your mood and lower stress levels. Walking is no exception. Aerobic exercise helps to release endorphins and improve your mental state. Walking in nature is especially good for this. 

According to the International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, researchers found that walking about three hours per week lowered the risk of premature death compared to those who did little to no walking. It's never too late to start either. A study in the journal Maturitas found that seniors with an average age of 80 who walked four times per week were less likely to die over the studies ten year follow up compared to those who walked less.

Experts agree that any amount of walking is good but to really reap the benefits, you need to rack up the miles and step up the pace. The minimum suggested for good health is at least thirty minutes per day and at least five days per week. More and faster is better but you will see some health benefits with just that amount.

Following are some ways to put more steps in your day and to get the most out of your effort.

• walk as much as you can - the University of Warwick did a comparison between people who exhibited at least one symptom of metabolic syndrome and people with no such factors. They discovered that people who were most sedentary had the most risk factors, but people who logged at least 15,000 steps had healthier BMIs, smaller waist circumference, lower cholesterol, blood pressure and blood glucose levels.
• walk faster - a study in the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, looked at not only number of steps but how quickly subjects walked. Those who walked faster had similar outcomes to those who walked longer. Keeping a pace of 2.5 to 3 miles per hour did the job.
• break it up - take several walking breaks during the day of at least 10 minutes each. It keeps you from being sedentary throughout the day and will decrease your risk for heart disease.
• do some intervals - rather than doing your 30 minute walk at the same pace, try doing some high intensity interval training (HIIT). Alternate between 30 second to one minute bursts of faster high intensity walking and one to two minutes of recovery slower walking. Studies have shown that people who practice HIIT tend to have lower levels of abdominal fat and smaller waists.
• walk uphill - if you increase your intensity by walking uphill you can get twice the benefit in half the time

The important thing is to walk as much as you can. Any amount of walking is better than nothing. The more you move, the better off you will be, the healthier you will be and the longer you might live.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

What's Your Grizzly Bear?

What holds you back? Are you afraid of failure? How about success? Maybe rejection? Are you living your dreams? Or are you working at a job you don't care much about or even dread going to every day?

We all  have something we're afraid of; something that keeps us from doing what we want to do. It may be because of past failures or the anticipation of a future failure...you know, something that hasn't happened yet.

Fear has a purpose. It's a survival mechanism. It's what has kept the human race from dying out. It is our brain's way of keeping us safe. It works like it should when we are in a dangerous situation, like if we're being chased by a grizzly bear. Chances are, you have good reason for fear in that scenario because you aren't likely to win that showdown. But when you fear something that has never shown itself to be dangerous but to you is unknown, that could be F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real) rather than fear. Our F.E.A.R. keeps us from growing and living the life we were meant to live. It keeps us from stretching our creative muscles. It keeps us stagnant. 

Now, if you want to have the same thing you always had then keep doing the same things you always did. Because if you always do what you always did, you'l alway get what you always got. Who needs that? I have never met anyone who was so deliriously happy with the status quo they wanted to stay in the same place for the rest of their lives. To me, that is a terrifying version of the movie, "Groundhog Day". 

With that being said however, I often find myself being held back by my F.E.A.R.s. Although, I have recently overcome my fear of public speaking and now you can't shut me up. It's a matter of proverbially closing your eyes and jumping right in. 

If you follow the 5-Second Rule (Mel Robbins), you can start to overcome your fears. What is the 5-Second Rule, you ask? You make a decision to do something, count backwards from 5 to 1, and jump right in before you have a chance to talk yourself out of it. This tricks your brain into not trying to protect you from the imaginary grizzly bear. It works and the more you practice it, it works even better.

Challenge yourself to do something that scares you. You may find that it wasn't nearly as scary as your F.E.A.R. made it out to be. Try it and see.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

Are You a Burned Out Caregiver?

When someone is sick, it's always natural to worry about the patient. But what about the caregiver? I believe the caregiver has the harder job. Now I know being sick is never a walk in the park. I have been on both sides of that situation. The people in my life were very attentive to my needs so in my case all I had to do was be sick.

But what about someone who is in a long term situation where the patient's condition doesn't improve and/or the demands on the caregiver are extremely taxing? According to Today's Caregiver magazine, caregiver stress syndrome is characterized by physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. It typically results from the person neglecting their own self care because they are so focused on the care and well-being of the person who is the subject of their care.

Caregiver stress syndrome significantly effects the well-being of the people in charge of caring for their loved ones. It does more than put the caregiver in a bad mood. It can result in depression and other mental health issues as these problems show up for caregivers alarmingly often. It willThis is especially evident in those who care for people in cognitive decline. Studies show that if the patient has Alzheimers, the caregiver is 30-40% more likely to suffer depression. They are also more likely to develop heart disease, their eating habits are poor and are more likely to die early.

Several times, I've seen what happens to the caregiver after dealing with a seriously ill spouse. In each of the cases, the spouse who was the caregiver was exhausted, lost significant weight and became ill themselves. They aged more rapidly after they began caring for their partners and their own health situations suffered significantly.

Symptoms of caregiver stress include feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, sadness, frustration, changes in appetite, weight changes up or down, poor sleep, feeling like you want to hurt yourself or the other person, loss of interest in things you once found joy in, irritability, withdrawal and other signs of mental, physical and emotional exhaustion.

There are ways to reduce the impact of caregiver stress. The caregiver must prioritize their own self care above all else so ask for help so all the responsibility doesn't fall completely on one person. Take a break, get other family members, community members or respite care to provide periodic relief. Outsource what you can by taking advantage of low cost housekeeping, shopping services, and adult daycare. Make sure to schedule time for self-care. Make medical appointments when needed and keep them. Get adequate sleep, eat healthy food, drink plenty of water, exercise daily. Practice stress relieving activities like meditation. Find someone you can talk to so you can release some of the pressure.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish or something to feel guilty about - quite the contrary. Taking care of yourself, is actually beneficial to the person you care for. Remember, you can't pour from an empty vessel so take care not to burn out.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

Adrenal Fatigue...is it a thing?

Have you heard of adrenal fatigue? Adrenal fatigue is a relatively new term. It only came into existence in the late 1990s and was coined by James Wilson, PhD, a naturopath and alternative medicine expert. Dr. Wilson theorized that an overstimulation of the adrenal glands by chronic stress over time could lead to an inconsistent level of cortisol (stress hormone) in the bloodstream...sometimes way too much and sometimes way too little. Additionally, people with this condition are also usually low on dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), also known as the parent hormone, because it is used in the body to produce other hormones. So what that means is, if DHEA is not doing its job, your other hormones are out of whack as well, not just the cortisol. And hormones control a lot of functions in the body...hormones drive the bus.

Adrenal fatigue is not a term recognized by the medical community because it can't be tested through conventional means. It's usually diagnosed through a series of symptoms that could be indicative of many other illnesses. It is also identified through saliva testing for cortisol levels at various times during a 24 hour period.

Symptoms like excessive fatigue even after a full night of sleep, certain food cravings, or a general feeling of malaise, are often present. These can also be symptoms of depression, sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, among others, which, coupled with the difficulty in testing, makes the medical community discount its existence.

Adrenal fatigue is often caused by poor diet, lack of sleep, chronic stress, heavy reliance on caffeine, sugar and other substances to stay alert.  The treatment is usually a change in diet, perhaps the recommendation to take a few supplemental vitamins/minerals and maybe some lifestyle adjustments. Even if you doubt the diagnosis of adrenal fatigue, following this protocol is likely to improve any symptoms you might have that are on the list. It's really a recipe for a healthy life.
 
As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

Reflections in Family Health

As I look back over the past several years at what my family has endured, it makes me wonder. I am one of 17 grandchildren of my maternal grandmother. Nana had five children, four of whom lived into adulthood. Nana lived into her nineties and was very healthy until she developed Alzheimer’s disease and basically wasted away. My mother died at 41 from cirrhosis of the liver and a subdural hematoma, but two other of Nana’s kids died in their 80s and one is still quite alive. None of them had much in the way of life altering diseases throughout their lives except Uncle John. He had COPD, which he developed I believe in his 70s. He lived into his 80s.

Then we get to my generation. I led the charge to change the family health history. I developed breast cancer in 2009. While being treated for that, we unexpectedly lost a cousin who was a year older than me. I believed she died from a bowel obstruction or something like it. Since then, we have had two more instances of breast cancer, prostate cancer and colon cancer throughout the group. We have also had an open heart surgery, life threatening pulmonary hypertension, my SCAD induced heart attack and another threatened open heart surgery for a different relative that is hopefully deferred indefinitely. Several of us have autoimmune disorders.  

What happened in our generation that was not present in our mothers’ generation or even our grandmother’s? What is different for us? I think there are a few factors at play here.

  

• Many of us would be categorized as being overweight or obese. 
• We have also seen quite a bit of fluctuation in weight both up and down in several members of the family. 
• There are a lot of Type A personalities in our clan.
• Our generation grew up with more convenience foods even though our mothers cooked at home.
• I feel like we have a lot more stress whether it's self imposed or from outside influences.
• We are over extended in many ways...again either self imposed or otherwise.
• There has been a fair amount of substance abuse like drugs, alcohol and food
• We eat out a lot more than we did as kids.

I don't know what all that means or if it contributes to why we have so much more disease in our generation but it is something to think about, because most of us have kids. What are we doing or have we done to them and their futures? If I knew what I know now when I was raising my kids, I would have done many things much differently. I hope they do a better job with the next generation. I'll do what I can to make that happen.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

What Would You Have Done?

Wouldn't it be nice if someone gave us the roadmap to a perfect life? What would you have done differently? How would your life look if you knew then what you know now? I have been thinking about that a bit lately and this is what I came up with.

I don't have regrets because the life I've lived got me where I am today so I can't say I've wasted my time. I had a very rewarding professional career from which I recently retired. I have a rich, full life with people I love and who love me. I have twice come back from life-threatening experiences, stronger and better off. But there are things I might have done differently. 

If I'd only known...I would have been more fearless
If I'd only known...I would have had more adventures
If I'd only known...I would have found my voice sooner
If I'd only known...I would have had more patience
If I'd only known...I would have said 'I love you' more
If I'd only known...I would have been more involved with what is important to those important to me
If I'd only known...I would have treated my body better

If I'd only known...I would have learned more about nutrition much earlier 

If I'd only known...I would have started my coaching practice as a side hustle much earlier

I'm one of the lucky ones. I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. Not everyone gets the privilege or has the insight but I figured it out for me. It would have been nice to know many years before I got here but then I might not have realized I had arrived. Life happens in divine timing I suppose. We don't necessarily know what that timing is however, until we have the benefit of hindsight. 

I have no complaints and I believe I have lots of time and opportunity to write the ending. But we never really know that, do we? You know...divine timing and all.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

And Now For Something Completely Different...understanding consent

There has been so much talk about what is and isn't considered consent to engage in sexual activity in the wake of the #metoo and #timesup movements. And yet, people still don't get it. I refuse to get into a political discussion on this topic, so please respect that. 

Just to be clear, consent means to actively agree to engage in sexual activity. Anything less than complete and enthusiastic consent is sexual assault. It also means that consent is needed throughout the entire encounter. Either party has the right to change their mind at any point, regardless of how far things have gotten...regardless of how uncomfortable it makes the other person.

Consent also requires both parties to have the capacity to agree to the encounter. That means they cannot be drunk or under the influence of drugs. They cannot be unconscious, asleep or otherwise be unable to clearly agree to the activity. There can be no coercion or undue influence, meaning there can be no imbalance of power.

These are the basic requirements of consent:

• it must be freely given - means it be given without pressure or manipulation or without the influence of drugs or alcohol
• it must be reversible - anyone can change their mind at anytime, no matter how far it has gone
• it must be an informed decision - the person making the decision must know the full story and make the decision based on that
• it must be given enthusiastically - no one should feel like they have to engage in behavior they are uncomfortable with
• it must be specific - consent given for one activity is not to be considered for any other behavior. For instance, consent to make out is not the same as consent to have intercourse.

Previous encounters with the same or other people does not imply consent for future encounters. How you dress does not imply consent. Who you are friends with does not imply consent.  

Of course, adults who have sex with children who have not reached the age of consent are committing sexual assault and rape regardless of whether the child agrees to the activity. Children lack capacity to make a decision to engage in sexual activity with an adult. 

No means no, stop means stop. It's important to be clear about what is and is not acceptable for you and you deserve to have your boundaries respected. You should never feel pressured into doing something you aren't ready to do nor should you pressure someone into something they aren't comfortable doing. Everyone has dominion over their own bodies.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

Far Infrared...a new experience for me

I had my first experience with a far infrared sauna today and I'm a believer. What is a far infrared sauna, you say? This type of sauna creates heat with light and 'far' infrared refers to where the rays fall on the light spectrum. What makes this type of sauna different from the traditional type? A traditional sauna will heat the air around you which in turn will heat your body. A far infrared sauna will heat your body directly with light rays and does not warm the air. What makes this particularly appealing is that it does its work at a lower temperature which makes it more accessible to people who otherwise are unable to use a sauna because of the high heat.

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are several studies using infrared saunas in the treatment plans for those with chronic health problems like high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, dementia, Alzheimer's disease, chronic headache, type 2 diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis and the results look promising, but testing is needed. The really good part is that there are no adverse effects to using this type of sauna, even for those who are unable to use traditional saunas.

My experience today was one of deep relaxation. When my 30 minute session was over, my muscles felt warm and loose. My arthritic neck felt more flexible and was much less tight. Because it was my first experience, I may not have gotten the full benefit of the session as someone who is a regular user but it felt pretty good.  I will definitely be back for more.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

  

Who's Up For a Little Ecotherapy?

Until recently, I had never heard of ecotherapy but now that I know what it is, I'm in. Ecotherapy refers to the benefits, both physical and psychological, of being in nature. It really makes sense that being outside would make us feel better.

A study conducted in 2009 determined that people who live close to a natural area are likely to be healthier than those who don't. People living close to a park, a woods or other natural areas are less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression.

Another study determined that people who hike or spend time relaxing in the forest have lower blood pressure, cortisol levels and heart rates.

Kids who have ADD and ADHD benefit from being outdoors and playing in fresh air in natural settings rather than being indoors. It is thought that a lot of these kids are also suffering from a "nature deficit" along with having an attention deficit. Even if they sit quietly outside and read a book, their symptoms improve, as long as they're in nature.

Spending regular time in nature has also been linked to lower stress levels in adults, better and more restorative sleep, and higher immune system function.

There are several reasons why spending time in nature can make you healthier. Vitamin D is a very necessary ingredient for our good health and is best acquired from sunlight through the skin. Vitamin D deficiency has been linked to many health issues like cancer, obesity and some mental illness. Because of our possible overuse of sunscreen, we block the sun's rays from being absorbed. Baking in the sun for hours at a time is not a great idea, but it's very helpful to spend about 20 minutes daily in direct sunlight with as much skin exposed as possible without sunscreen. You are more likely to move when you're outdoors. Exercise in the form of walking, running, hiking, swimming, canoeing or kayaking, or any number of other forms of fun happen when you are in nature.

There is a practice called grounding, the benefits of which  are somewhat controversial. The idea is that by walking barefoot on the earth, your body is grounded, much like an electrical outlet. Most of the time, we do not have direct contact with the earth and as a result we build up a positive charge in the body. Grounding or earthing, as it is sometimes called, helps to reduce that charge. People who believe in the practice feel that it reduces inflammation and improves sleep quality.

Of course, there is also the value of breathing fresh air over recycled, contaminated indoor air. Fresh air, especially near water or after a rainstorm, is full of negative ions. These negative ions are considered nature's antidepressants. Indoor air is deficient of those negative ions and is full of chemicals and other contaminants.

There are a plethora of additional benefits enjoyed by spending time outdoors so rather than sitting in front of your phone or computer reading about them, go outside and enjoy the beautiful spring weather and get your vitamin D and negative ions.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click here to schedule a no strings attached call.

Procrastination...or why do today what you can put off until tomorrow

I decided this was a good topic today because, similar to analysis paralysis, procrastination is something I am really good at. I learned from the best because my father was a world-class procrastinator. There was no task, big or small, that he couldn't put off until it became much larger and more time-consuming than if he had only done it when he should have.

I just did this with my tax returns. My taxes are not particularly complex but, because I have my own business, they are filled with details. My record-keeping through the year is complete although it isn't orderly so I have to sort through a ton of papers to get everything recorded properly. Of course, once I sit down and do them, I always wonder why I put the project off as long as I did...every year. 

So why do we procrastinate? This quote really spoke to me as I started to pull together some inspiration for today's post.

"Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a lot of responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the 'someday I'll' philosophy." - Denis Waitley

Why are we so afraid to succeed? I definitely see some truth to this in my life. I have so many aspirations about where I want to take my business but sometimes my dreams take my breath away. I become overwhelmed and go into shutdown mode.

According to Psychology Today, there are three types of procrastinators:

1. Arousal types or thrill-seekers - wait until the last minute in order to reap a euphoric rush
2. Avoiders - put off tasks for fear of failure or even success and are concerned of others' opinions
3. Decisional - unable to make a decision which makes them not responsible for outcomes

Do you remember Newton's First Law of Motion, also known as the Law of Inertia? It states, essentially, that an object at rest will remain at rest and an object in motion will remain in motion, unless acted on by an outside source. So when we procrastinate, we are in full manifestation of the Law of Inertia. Unless we do something to change that, like just get started, we will remain inert. 

Here are some ways to overcome the inertia of procrastination:

1. Look at the big picture - we are usually more focused on what needs to be done now vs. what we need to get done for the greater benefit. For instance, have you considered furthering your education but have allowed current life to get in the way? Consider the long term benefit of going back to school.
2. Allow a learning curve - have you ever looked at a project and not known where to start? Build in time to figure it out. Try a few approaches before landing on one that makes the most sense. Engage the help of others with more expertise or experience than you have. Don't feel bad if it doesn't go well the first time.
3. Don't confuse your value with the outcome of a project - we're often afraid of failure so if we never take on the task, we can't fail, right? Don't allow perfectionism to derail your efforts. Don't set standards so high that you can't reasonably meet them and even if you still don't meet your standards, missing the mark does not define you.
4. Know your style - some people are able to work better under pressure but if you plan to procrastinate, make sure you that describes you. Some people function better when under the influence of the adrenaline that is released when the pressure is on. Others do not so be sure you know which person you are.
5. Know the cost and the benefit - maybe there are other things that are more appealing to do rather than the project at hand. Is the immediate gratification of doing something else worth the cost of not doing the work that needs to be done? Consider the trade-off and make the decision that makes the most sense to you.

We all can have the tendency to procrastinate from time to time...some more than others, like me. I'm making a conscious effort to stop doing it so often. How about you?

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click www.karensammer.com/contact to schedule a no strings attached call. 

Keep Facing Your True North

I love this page from a book posted by Hay House on their Facebook page. It may be credited to Rebecca Campbell but I'm not sure. Sorry I don't know any more details about it to give full credit. 

You don't have to be all things to all people. Even if you bend over backwards, there will always be those for whom you can't do enough...or at least do enough right. This pertains not only to relative strangers but also people who you would expect to be in your corner. Sometimes you have their support until you start enjoying success at what you're trying to accomplish then all of sudden they are nowhere to be found. Is it jealousy? insecurity? something else? 

I was in that situation many years ago after I had been treated for breast cancer. It's the experience that put me on my health coaching path because I knew I had to make some changes in my own life to be here for my family. I had a friend who was not as overweight as I was at the time who was fully supportive of me...in the beginning. However, once I started having more success than she was having, the dynamic completely changed. It went really south after her husband paid me a compliment, even though it was very innocent. The friendship never recovered and before it was over she tried on several occasions to derail my efforts. While it's unfortunate that she was unable to be my friend when I was having success, she didn't consider that it was a struggle for me too and I had much more at stake than she did. I refused to give in and she couldn't deal with that.

In my position as a health coach, I find that so many people don't want help, even when they ask for it. I'm fairly sure I don't try to force my advice or lifestyle on anyone else but I also won't compromise on the choices I have made for my own life. People seem to feel the need to almost apologize to me if they make less than stellar food choices in my presence, even though I'm often not even paying attention to what they are eating. I purposely will look away so thy aren't uncomfortable. I believe they're judging themselves and the decisions they're making at the time and it really has nothing to do with me. Regardless, I won't be changing my approach to my health just to make someone else feel comfortable about their own choices.   

Have you ever known someone who didn't want to see your light shine brightly? Your bright light doesn't dim theirs. Only they can do that. Live your life the best that you can and don't let someone else bring you down to make themselves feel good.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click www.karensammer.com/contact to schedule a no strings attached call. 

Analysis Paralysis

Do you have trouble starting a project because it seems too big to tackle? If there are several options, do you have trouble choosing the best one or any one at all? Do you not even know where to look to find the place to start? 

I have this issue all the time. I have so many things I want todo in my business like blog regularly, write a newsletter, make YouTube videos, get paid speaking gigs and have a full slate of individual coaching clients...and by the way, have a viable website that is updated regularly. All of this is so overwhelming to me that I get nervous just typing about it.

According to Wikipedia, analysis paralysis is when the fear of potential error outweighs the realistic expectation or potential value of success, and this imbalance results in suppressed decision-making in an unconscious effort to preserve existing options. An overload of options can overwhelm the situation and cause this "paralysis", rendering one unable to come to a conclusion. It can become a larger problem when in critical situations where a decision needs to be reached but a person is not able to provide a response fast enough, potentially causing a bigger issue than they would have had they made a decision. 

Does any of this resonate? If it does, read on. I'm going to take a different approach from the one I have taken in the past, because "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten" - Henry Ford. 

Here's my plan:

• I'm going to write a list of all my big ideas
• within each idea, I'll break it up into manageable tasks
• if those tasks are still too big, I'll break them into steps
• I'll make a schedule and put deadlines on each of the steps, tasks and ideas

Does that sound like rocket science? Of course it doesn't. I'm sure you're saying "no sh*t Sherlock...that's what you're supposed to do". I know that and you know that but execution is not the same as knowing what to do. How do you eat the elephant in front of you? One bite at a time, and that's what I'm going to do, one bite at a time.

What's your elephant?  

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click www.karensammer.com/contact to schedule a no strings attached call. 

Don't Put Your Life On Hold

I think we need to talk more about self-care. Most of us don't engage in it enough. We...especially women...and most especially parents, tend to put everyone else's needs before our own. But, as I have heard and often said, you must fill your own cup before you can fill someone else's because you cannot pour from an empty vessel. They tell us when we fly that, in the event of an emergency, we must put on our own oxygen mask before helping anyone else. 

Why do we have so much trouble loving ourselves? Aren't we as worthy as everyone else who receives our love? Why are are so much nicer to everyone else than we are to ourselves? We take better care of them, we treat them with more respect, we tend to their needs and make sure they're happy. Aren't we worthy of that treatment too?

I've heard the excuses too. I don't have time to exercise, eat right, cook a healthy meal, get enough sleep, etc. I have too much work to do, deadlines to meet, kids to run to all their activities, dishes to wash, a house to clean and so on.

Why are we so over-scheduled? I think it's because we have become really bad at creating boundaries. We're afraid to say no. If we say no to the boss, we might get fired. If we say no to the kids, they might hate us. I have news for you, they can always find a reason to hate us unless we're less parent and more friend to them. If we say no to the various organizations who ask for our help, what would they think?

I would like to propose a suggestion...take some time every day for you. It doesn't have to be a long time, maybe 20 minutes, but more if you can. Do something during that time just for you...or do nothing at all. Some ideas are: put on some fun music and have a dance party with yourself, take a long walk to nowhere, give yourself a facial or a manicure or a pedicure or maybe all three, take a nice long bubble bath with soothing music and candles and maybe a glass of wine, go shopping in a store that is way out of your price range and try on ridiculously expensive clothes to see how good you look in them, get a massage, buy yourself some pretty flowers, get up before everyone else and just enjoy the quiet, read a book, watch some silly YouTube videos, sit in nature and just listen to the sounds, smell the scents and take in the sights.

Recharging your battery is not an act of selfishness or self-indulgence, it's a gift you give everyone who depends on you, including you. You deserve to take care of yourself, not for anything you have done but because you are worthy of care. You shouldn't have to earn anyone's love...least of all your own.

I'm going to take my own advice and take a hot shower and be in bed by 11PM tonight. Sweet dreams.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click www.karensammer.com/contact to schedule a no strings attached call.

Be Nice To You

How many times have you looked in the mirror and been critical of your body, your hair, your skin? 

How many times have you said negative things to other people about yourself? 

How many times have you said something like "I hate my (fill in the blank)?"

We are often our own worst enemy, and we speak to or about ourselves in a way we would never speak about someone else...especially someone we love.

Here's an idea...why not treat yourself at least as well as you treat someone you respect or dare I say, even love?   

Give yourself a break. Look in the mirror and find something about your body that you can be proud of. It doesn't have to be what you look like. 

Are you smart? You have a gifted brain. 

Are you loving? You have a kind and beautiful heart. 

Are you able to move of your own accord? You have strong legs and feet.

Find some part of you to love and just love unconditionally. Look in the mirror and express that love. You may feel uncomfortable at first but you deserve at least the love you share with others. You are worthy.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click www.karensammer.com/contact to schedule a no strings attached call. 

Do You Meditate?

Do you think the only people who can successfully meditate are Buddhist monks who sit on mountaintops? Do you think that because you have trouble shutting off your thoughts that you are a failure when it comes to the practice of meditation? If either of these ideas ring true for you, I have good news. You can meditate and do so successfully.

According to the Buddhist Centre, meditation is a means of transforming the mind. It's about training your mind and developing the ability to redirect your thoughts. Many people use it as a way to reduce stress, increase focus and concentration, as a mood enhancer, to develop a positive outlook and self discipline.

Meditation doesn't require you to completely shut off your brain, as some believe. Following are some of the better known methods of meditation according to www.medicalnewstoday.com.

1. Metta meditation - the goal in this method is to cultivate an attitude of love and kindness toward everyone and everything, including one's enemies and sources of stress. This method is designed to promote compassion and love for others and for self.
2. Progressive relaxation - participants scan their bodies for areas holding tension. The goal is to determine where the tension is and allow it to release. One usually starts at the feet and works up to the top of the head. This method is good to use when trying to fall asleep.
3. Mindfulness meditation - this method encourages participants to remain present and in the moment without judgment of any experience. Mindfulness is often used in most forms of meditation. 
4. Breath awareness - this is another mindfulness practice. Participants focus mindfully on their breath and ignore thoughts as they enter the mind.
5. Kundalini yoga - this method mixes movement, deep breathing and mantras. This practice can help reduce pain and increase strength.
6. Zen meditation - this practice is often done under the guidance of a trained teacher because it includes specific postures and steps.
7. Transcendental meditation - during this practice, participants focus on a mantra and the goal is to rise above or transcend the person's current state of being.

No matter which method you choose, meditation done on a regular basis can have a significant positive impact on your health and well-being but any meditation is a benefit. Meditation is a skill, and like any skill, will take time to master. The key is patience with oneself and to practice without judgment. The effect will be a more peaceful and happier life.

As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click www.karensammer.com/contact to schedule a no strings attached call.